dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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