That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
