I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
