I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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