He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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