his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
