is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
All the doctor said was why
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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