I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
