We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
