We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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