I hate your face
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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