i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
