No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
