I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
