I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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