OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
