The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
