tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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