it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
