Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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