with your own penis?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize