I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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