seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
