No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
