Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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