I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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