If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
