how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
