just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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