i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
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