areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
