I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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