At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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