If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
