I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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