i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
