I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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