how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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