me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
