I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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