ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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