She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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