His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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