I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
