I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
