Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
