you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
