You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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