Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
