He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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