I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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