I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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