Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
