i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
