Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
