you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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