just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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