How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
