Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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