Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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