The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
