I'm gonna have a badass scar
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We need to rekindle our bromance
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
