I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
