Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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