when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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