Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize