I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
