I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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