I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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